Manhattan at Last

photograph by Jay Winer


Well, it wasn't the move I expected - What ever truly turns out as you expect? Oh I suppose some things are exactly what you expect. But expectations now that is another thing. Anyway...

Out of Connecticut - into Manhattan and always keeping an open mind for the next adventure. Or maybe just the next cup of coffee.

How do you see yourself?

Not long ago I ran across this old picture of me and realized that this is how I see myself in my minds eye. It is always a bit of surprise to realize how little I look like that in reality. A friend, Don Rudnickas wrote a song that captures it perfectly. My Minds Eye

Over to the right is a little button that you can click and hear it.

So while still groping my way into the future with no light to guide the way this song seems a good signpost to keep me grounded.

I loved that hat....

I think this was about 1988... Great Vintage Gucci hat. You have to love the drama of it...

But then a few years later here I am... Not so glamorous... Life is funny.

Beautiful Day

Beautiful day…
We wait and wait
Morning comes and you can taste the day
Your skin tells you
You feel the warmth
Your first breath tells you
You inhale the scents carried in through the window
Blossoms are drawn out and come alive when warmed by the sun.
The sounds of birds singing joy.
But…
What about my heart?
Locked in the winter of loneliness…
I need the soft breath that whispers good morning against my cheek
My skin needs the touch of warmth from his hand to come alive
The only scent… my own mingled with the dead flowers I bought for myself.
Within is only the sound of a single beating heart in the silence of my empty room
Outside is a beautiful day…
Inside my heart is cold with lonliness
large with so much to share
And no one cares if I care.
No one cares to share.

And I am sick and tired of it all.
Wasted time on foolish thoughts.
Wasted thoughts....
I am out of time...
I am out of the mood.
I am out the door...

It is a beautiful day.

I've cried enough

I've cried enough
Originally uploaded by HaMeD!caL

kalidescope

Swirling, twisting, turning.
The meteor shower of my soul.
Glints of color,
Sparks of light
Twisting, shimmering
Always changing

Gems of truth
Bound in rings of gold
Words unspoken
Thoughts untold
Love deflected

A twist and images fly
Shaping again spinning back
The past cold frigid light
Shifting reflections of the past
Forming dark lies and trust stolen
Pain frozen
Gears broken

Turning motion seeing now
Showing shimmering souls
Already sold
Wanting to hold

Staring forward
Focus on the future blurred.
Glimmering shards of dreams
Waiting to fall into place.
All reflected in a single tear.

Touch

Touch
Originally uploaded by JohnyBlaze

Being Me.

image by Katarina Sokolova www.katarinasokolova.com


I thought that once you had gone I would feel so alone....

I thought being alone would be the razors edge of loneliness.

But now that you have gone I realize....

I was lonelier with you - because you were never really there.

I realize now that you were taking away parts of me.

Now

I have the me back that was lost trying to be a we.

I realize I am alone and I may be lonely but...

I don't feel empty just being me

Not like I did when

I tried being a we with you.

It is better to be me

complete and free.

to love again...