Little Red Spider Hood

Little Red Spider Hood
photograph by Michelle Lennon

So Many Masks....

So Many Masks....
Yet none completely hide me from me.


very odd...
nothing fits
puzzle pieces
intentionally twisted
placed on a board
upside down

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Blonde Logic

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind.

Yesterday, I got a call from the Contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

"Helllooooo!"------"It's been a year"!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me.

Bet he won't underestimate a blonde anymore!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Suzanne and Georgette

Two of my sisters... one younger one older...

Laissez Le Bon Ton Roulet - Faded Time


Yesterday I went to the French Quarter Fest and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to listen to music. I don't typically listen to Zydeco, arguably the music of Louisiana. One would think it would be something I was drawn to on a visceral level at least. My mother's family names are all Boudreaux's and Gautreaux's and Dideareaux and who knows what else that ends in eaux.

I can remember visits to my maternal grandmother's and great-grandmother's where the adults would gather after the evening rosary to play boure (I have no idea how to spell bourée; I don't think I have ever seen it written). Once released from the torture of kneeling in a circle on the kitchen floor saying the rosary to the radio we kids would pass our rosaries over to the nearest adult and high tail it for the backyard to play some version of chase through the fig orchards. The men would drink beer and the women home made cherry bounce and together as a family they made fun on a hot summer night.

As the evening progressed our dashes in and out of the kitchen always had a very distinct sound that I can hear even now. It is the combination of French being spoken in rapid fire tempo against music warbling forth from a scratchy 78 album blended with that of the occasional swat at a mosquito and infused with laughter, great deals of laughter, which all together created its own music.

What they listened to on the record player or radio or played themselves when one of the Oncle's would bring a fiddle and another an accordion or any other combination of instruments didn't seem to have a name, or at least they didn't name it. Someone would shout, "Oncle Celeste! Jouez-nous de la musique!" Just that, not play some Zydeco or Cajun Music it was just music. It is interesting that they didn't have a name for it when you think about our how humans seem to have a need to name a thing. Or perhaps they did and said it in French which we tuned out because we weren't supposed to understand what they were talking about when they slipped into French.

What I loved was the sound of Family, not so much the music itself. It isn't that I don't like it now, I can enjoy it but it isn't the same. I suppose for me it is a family sound that is best enjoyed on a hot summer night with fans whirring overhead and the sounds and smells of my grand grand-mere's kitchen and when I hear it elsewhere I feel lonely for the sounds I won't ever hear again.

Those simple days are gone. I don't ever see all the Tante's and Oncle's anymore. My grand-mere is gone as is my grand grand-mere and my mother too and the links to that side of the family grow weaker with each passing year. None of us live in houses with big screened in back porches and even bigger kitchens where 20 people could sit around a table and drink cherry bounce and play cards on a hot summer evening and create the magic of childhood for all of us kids. And none of us are kids anymore. I miss it and the music that was my childhood. And that is what I remembered last night when I went to bed with the sounds of Zydeco still whispering in my mind. I remembered I wasn't a kid anymore.

After writing the above by sheer fluke of fate two of my cousins walked into the same bar/resturant I was in. Since then the family has all gotten together again. The adults, of whom now I was one, sat around talking into the evening. Laughter was everywhere and the kids ran in and out, music played in the background... and I wondered if we were making the music of childhood for the little ones.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Theater Days - Lion In Winter

This is from when I was doing theatre in New York....
The Play - Lion in Winter by James Goldman
One amusing aspect - My Henry II was 6'5", I am 5'1.5". For this cast picture I had to stand on a box so that we would be on a somewhat even plane for the promotional cast Photographs.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Old and New

Well, my birthday was a couple of weeks ago...
So... trying to think of this as a New Year
renewal of spirit - find the cheer!

Happy New Year Wren

Friday, September 7, 2007

New Home....

I have made my way to my new home... for now... But since I am still in Louisiana I can still be a Southern Magnolia... Hmmmm.... well perhaps a Steel Magnolia... but in a nice soft glowing way... hmmm... Well oh botheration... Here I am back again...

If you have your speakers on, I hope you enjoy the song 'My Way Home' that should be playing. You can click on the link above to hear it and more of Don's songs. If you listen to it you will know why I selected it for my little blog here. It will be obvious, or should be or might be.... but you have to listen to it to hear it.

I sound like I have had one cup of coffee too many.... that may well be so... but...

So what?

If you can't feel my smile, I can assure you I am smiling now that all the moving is over. Chaos follows but in a good way.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Saturday is just for play
Soon I will be packing my bags
and be on my way.
No good reason to stay
no regrets as I make my way
Just fun and sun
lawn party and Croquet
Full skirts and petticoats
wide brimmed hats and just plain folks
One more week until tomorrow
leaving here with out a wit of sorrow
Hello world can you come out to play today?


Dear ones,

Some big changes. I will be leaving New Orleans next weekend. I am not sad about this in the least. I have never seemed to be able to thrive since Katrina... each step forward brought me three steps backwards. Every time I took a path I thought would lead to a better situation I ran into brick walls. I was losing me, the me that savors the flavor of life.

So, I am packing my stuff, putting it all in storage and going to go live with my brother for a while in Northern, LA. I am looking forward to a new fresh beginning and the time it will give me to choose a path into the future.

I feel great about it all.


Thursday, August 23, 2007

within her slumber
her world was as she wished it to be...
If she reached out
her hand was held
if she yearned for his touch
his breath caressed her cheek
within her slumber
he was there
why wake to discover
he did not care?
slumber on...

Saturday, August 18, 2007


Off to the beach again
no idea what is around the bend
I can't read your mind

Off to the beach again
to find new dreams
live with out schemes

Off to the beach again
I can almost remember
other times I lied to myself
believing in a we....

Off to the beach again
no we to be a part of me
Just me myself and I...
no longer believing the lie
until the next time I try

Saturday, August 11, 2007

See... No Rain!!!

Friday, August 10, 2007


I have persuaded myself that I will not let anything rain on my parade for the next few days...

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Hello World!

Whatcha' got in store for me today?

Monday, August 6, 2007

Oh... not another monday

at exactly 8:26 I knew the phone would ring. It does every morning at that exact time. I don't need an alarm clock any more.

The bill collectors provide that service for free.. and again at this very moment... Oh god... not another Monday...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Four Leaf Clover

Perhaps we could all use a little luck...

Thursday, July 26, 2007


What we are today

is but a dim reflection

of what we were

and a faint glimmer

of what we will be

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

To and Fro... now where to go.

People coming to and fro

leaving here going there

people knowing

people showing


What more can I say?

Monday, July 23, 2007

Monday again?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

It's Saturday!

Hope and Need
Hope is a four letter word

Need is a Curse
Yet I am hopelessly cursed

with the Need to hope.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

It is not always easy to get from here to there, but you cannot get there without trying.

I am trying to get a job in NYC that I probably have a snowballs chance in hell of getting, but I thought... if each person that reads this closes their eyes and prays or if you don't pray think really hard of me getting it. It surely can't hurt.

Monday, July 16, 2007

What is the point?

Somedays I just wonder

why bother

Friday, July 13, 2007

Pain Before Beauty...

Pain before Beauty

In our early years, pain is limited to our personal experience; beauty is illuminated for us by what we are taught is beautiful. Our parents’ concept of beauty becomes our own until we journey further though life discovering for ourselves new perceptions.

My early perceptions of pain and beauty were gathered and learned by watching my mother dress. A wince as she plucked a few errant brow hairs, the apparent torture as she squeezed into a girdle, her shoes too tight yet they perfectly created the illusion of delicate feet. Time and again I asked, “Why do you do all of that if it hurts?” Her answer was always the same, “Pain before beauty”.

Even now, over the span of decades, her personal mantra, “Pain before beauty”, still echoes. To me, my mother was beauty. Her auburn hair glimmered gold when the sun touched it, ivory skin so soft when our cheeks touched I thought of velvet, lips full and painted red, and a waist so small that her full skirts and petticoats seemed to exist just to cling to it. The scent of Shalimar lingered to guard me as she moved to leave, her silks and satins playing a symphony.

As I watched the theater of my mother my perceptions of pain and beauty were simple; beauty was my mother and pain part of the quest for beauty, or perhaps just a scraped knee.Life visits itself upon me and pain no longer is as simple as a scraped knee or even a plucked brow.

Pain now encompasses heartache, betrayal, the suffering of those I love, lost innocence and the loss of faith. Beauty is a face that wrinkles with a smile, a mother nursing her child, courage in the eyes of a veteran, laughter, the innocence of a playing child, and unwavering faith. “Pain before beauty” became to me the mantra of a vain woman.

Ten years of fighting cancer left my mother little reason for vanity. Faith replaced vanity. Her mantra became the Hail Mary; instead of pearls she wore scapulars and clutched a rosary as she once clutched an evening bag. Her cheeks were now ashen and lined from pain, hair merely faded tufts clinging to her scalp, lips cracked and dry. The scent was of medicine; the symphony not of silk against satin but the drip of IV’s against the faltering ping of her life monitor.

At the end, we waited as she lay in a coma; her eyes opened and looking past us at once focused on the crucifix on the far wall. The joy was complete; she saw what we could not, save through her eyes. She was not afraid; she smiled and nodded as if in answer to a question and then, in a moment of rapture her soul departed, leaving the smile upon her face.

Now, I realized that with faith she had a different beauty, and I truly understood - “Pain before beauty.”

“Pain before beauty” was no longer a vain woman’s mantra to me, but a courageous woman’s epitaph.

Renée Soulié© copyright 2005

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Dragonfly is the totem of the dreamtime, and illusion. Dragonfly gives us the gift of communication with the nature spirits. Dragonfly teaches us how to differentiate between the real and the imaginary energies of life, and to bring your thoughts and actions into a form which you can bring into the reality of your life. And this is why I have a dragonfly tattoo... to always remind me to live my dreams not get caught up in the dreaming itself.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Is it still Monday!????

I can't do a thing with my hair!

Ugh... The Best things about Monday

Is that first cup of Coffee....

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Sunday Drive....

For Sunday.... throw caution to the winds.

Forget the chores.

I am taking my little car for a drive to the beach...

Friday, July 6, 2007

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Thursday After The Fourth

I want to be here....

so much more than here...

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Woo Hooo... Another Summer Saturday

It is that day I savor for its particular
Summer Saturdays
I almost feel as if I am
Not ten or eleven but nine
Old enough to while away the
day absorbed in the imagination
but young enough to be
from worry
from lonliness
from any care but today
free with the hardest decision
simplicity itself - whether to go fishing at the pond
build a fort - ride bikes to the river
and lay back and listen to the horns of the tug boats go by
muddy muddy mississippi
sounds scents and sights.
Summer Saturdays

Friday, June 29, 2007

Oh Hello! It's Friday

Whatcha doing?

A Lovers Moon

A lover's moon

I look at the sliver of the waxing moon
reclining against a sky washed with steel blue
purpling slender clouds
fingers caressing
I know it is a lover's moon.
the scimitar curve with dual tips
razor points that rend and slice beyond healing
as a lover does in silent leave-taking.
A lover's moon.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Name that Tune

What do you think should be playing on this radio?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I am waiting for barren trees

for leaves that fall

without one breath ever being felt

I can see the color

but only in my memory

it flickers bright

but only for a moment


Monday, June 25, 2007

Saturday, June 23, 2007


Summer Saturdays.

Remember when you could jump out of bed throw on your swimsuit and shorts and be out of the house? Who knew where you would go. Beach or Swimming hole or the pool. You didn't worry about anything except perhaps being home by dark. Go ahead. Do it again. Give yourself a Summer Saturday... Even if it is in your own back yard with the kids and a hose.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


I am asked why is everything so dark.

I say it is not dark it is just the other side

of light...

If there is sun...

there will be a shadow

but would you

give up the sun just to avoid the shadow?

I think I will stay here in the sun today

and enjoy the shadows it casts.

Suicide and Silence

stiletto heels strike an assured cadence
stairway spiraling skyward
a sigh
a last single step
a downward symphony
slash stillness
sweet serene silence

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


I am resting
in the shadows
Of life
I can see the light from here
it can not blind me
with its hope
I can feel the warmth from here
it can not burn me
with its passion
I can cry here
no one hears
that is the point
of being here
for now

Of Fish and Lures

Often times....
I feel...

like a too small fish....
mesmerized. . .
by a too bright,
unattainable lure...
the lure flickers as it darts past...
tantalizes and mocks my simplicity...
as it dangles briefly...
teasing, intentionally...
then draws away...
leaving a faint trail...
that fades...
along with the allure of it.


"The most beautiful thing we can experience
is the mysterious. It is the source of all true
art and all science. He to whom this emotion
is a stranger, who can no longer pause to
wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as
dead: his eyes are closed."
(Albert Einstein)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


spring rain falls...

one droplet trails down the pane of glass

its course wavering

it touches another

they form together


together they move a course

unsteady, halting, shifting

their course ever traveling downward

their goal unknown

the glass holds imperfections

moving headlong

their journey seemingly smooth

the shimmer of the distortion draws them

only beauty do they see in the flaw

as they touch it together

it splits them asunder

they travel on alone

each carrying a part of the other

downward into the unknown.



"Surround Me" by Chris Sotiri

"Surround Me" by Chris Sotiri

I am not sure how things happen nor can I explain them... be that as it may this man's music came into my world. The how isn't important... But the first song I listened to "Surround Me" exposed, expressed and exhaled how I feel.
More of his music can be found

Wash away this life, put it all behind
Won't take anymore, this tired soul can't fight
I am not afraid, to leave everything
There's a world, where I won't be in pain

Surround Me, Surround Me
I've lost what I need
Surround Me, Surround Me

My heart was torn away, ever since that day,
Never will forget, one fateful mistake
Visions of the end, play back time again
There's a place, where I won't feel a thing

Surround Me, Surround Me
I've lost what I need
Surround Me, Surround Me

How can one live, just suffering,
How can one live, so helplessly,
How do you live??

Surround Me, Surround Me
I've lost what I need
Surround Me, Surround Me

Surround Me, Surround Me
I found I'll never be
Surround Me

Borrowed Time

Borrowed Time

what will you leave unsaid?

what will you leave unsaid?
We don't get time back. But we can make the most of our future.

The Missing Piece

The Missing Piece
Song by Don Rudnickas

The Missing Piece by Don Rudnickas

I am convinced... we all want to find that missing piece. But what do we do if we do find it?


Life Burnishes our souls creating a patina and yet it is still beautiful splinters and all.

Trouble Sick by Don Rudnickas

Trouble Sick by Don Rudnickas
Below is a new song by my buddy Don... All Rights Reserved.

Trouble Sick by Don Rudnickas.

Click to Play

Patiently Waiting

Patiently Waiting
Image by L Margaux

searching for the meaning of life?